I have a 1998 honda crv and I am thinking about equiping the crv to
pull a boat and/or a camper trailer.

While Honda lists the towing capacity at 1000lbs, I have observer CRV
owners in Europe pulling considerably more than this.

Would it be realistic to expect the CRV to pull 3000-3500lbs for
short distances? Assuming it is equiped with synthetic oil and tran
fluid plus a transmission cooler.

I do not think that it is realistic to do anything
with a vehicle that it was not designed to. Futhermore
you are talking about 3 times the HONDA limits. If it
was 1500 I would say be carefull go for it....but
3000? You did not consider one other item I believe:
brakes. If you do go for it your CRV breakes are not
designed to stop a load like that.

I towed a 3500lbs boat short distances (less than 10 miles at any time). I had no trouble with braking, engine temp, transmission, etc.  The only trouble I had was speed. it struggled to do 50mph on a level surface and going up hills about 35mph.  Pulling the boat out of the water was a bit of a challenge as well.
 
Geoff
'97 CVR